Good Morning (well evening in my case) 2012!

This is a funny thing for me, as until this blog, I never wrote diaries to capture how I was feeling or what I did.  Life was something that you just got on with, through spring, summer, autumn and winter, and in many ways this is still something that I feel is true. I never considered for one minute that what I saw/thought about would be on any interest to anyone other than myself and 2011 has turned out to be a year which has really made me stop and think like no other year since the year my Mother died which was nearly 10 years ago.

2011 has been a full on ride which I have felt that I have had absolutely no control of. It has been a year full of unexpected occurrences, each of them leaving lasting imprints. Throughout all of them, I am so thankful to have two constants, my boys who I love more than I could possibly begin to describe here. Without them I don't think I could have come through the events which have been for me emotionally charged. They supported me as I had to stop, think, reflect and act upon by digging deep into myself, something that I never really like doing as for me that is very scary and unsettling.

So how will I remember 2011. Well the year started with my stepfather and his death, it was horrible for many reasons but it did provide a closure, not how I would have liked, but a closure none-the-less. 

Simultaneously to this all happening, the world of fine art photography was opening up to me in ways I never expected. These were exciting, scary, incredibly unexpected and potentially offered fulfilment of dreams that I never in my wildest dreams thought I could actually flirt with. Flirt with them I did however with the backing, support and anchoring of my boys, and this flirtation really took my mind off the negativity of my stepfather, and allowed me a vehicle to pour out my emotions in ways that also allowed me to pour my dream of hopes and wishful aspirations into and this is something here to stay! 

Of course there was more to 2011 than just the main big personal life changing headlines, there was ....

it saw the birth of my newest nephew, Theo.

it saw me going to Santa Fe (I know I am repeating it but this was a first stop in my journey) to see people who I never thought I would ever get to meet, and has provided me with a vehicle in with to share and explore me in ways I only ever dreamed about.

It saw Dexter, Anders and I going to visit Rome, on what turned out to be a fantastic and hugely inspirational holiday.

Some things however didn't change in 2011, and won't in the future, like going to the loo!?
I do like my own jokes - boom boom!

It is good to laugh, to find humour and things that make you smile.

This picture made me laugh, and like the next one was taken around Halloween.

Who would have thought that Dexter would have come up with the idea of going as a Mummified Pope from seeing them in the Vatican!  What was funny was that even during the Disco, he danced in character by making signs of the cross - he does make me laugh and he clearly did everyone else as he won first prize!

The biggest thing however is that 2011 was a year of complete evolution, which therefore might also go along nicely with this theme of reflection and a series of self portrait photographs I took which involved considering evolution and genetics!

Here is me as a small child, and you know, it actually does look really like a picture I have of me.

Had I been an ape, this is how I might have looked, and this below is Dexter as of course a future ape!!!

Don't we look alike - ha, ha, ha!

Then I aged my photo, and the strange thing in doing this was that I really saw me looking like my Mum. To prove this, here she is with me.  She was aged about 54 in this photograph, and I was about 21.

Playing about with the image again, had I been a man, I might have looked like this!

But as I looked at all these images, I can see how much I really do look like my Mum.

and that makes me happy as my Mum was amazing, and like her, I live on in Dexter as she lives on in me. I can still hear her saying in her thick Polish accent, "oh, Joanna, you are silly, I don't know how your brain tinks"!!!

So, 2011 has seen the dawn of a new age for me, and another step in my own life's evolution. I know the past is just that, the past and the foundations in which I am built, but the future, well photography, my 2 boys and my sister are going to be a huge part of me exploring that and that makes me happy.  In addition to that, I know I have some great new friends all because of this blog - you know who you are :-)

For Auld Lang Syne.