Tuesday, 9 November 2010

The Victoria Beckham tale.....

Victoria Beckham had no choice but to go into the music business as her parents (and her uncle Madonavan Starchilde) were in the semi famous 60's band "The Knut Hamsun Experience".   The following is a still from their unreleased Music video "Tie a yellow ribbon round my gangrenous toe, so it doesn't spread, spread , spread".  

As a little girl she remembered fondly the fairytale which had an enchanted mirror that she used to mimic herself.  She remembers saying into it
"mirror, mirror on the wall, please grant my wishes one and all". 
Oddly enough the mirror was inhabited by a spirit, unfortunately it was a Japanese one, who did not have  a clue what she was talking about.

Below we see copies of some Victoria's early song-writing endeavours. As you can clearly see she suffers quite horribly with Dyslexia and it came as no surprise to everyone (except Victoria) that her song-writing never really took off. 

It was only through extreme good fortune (V would call it kismet) that she came to the attention of elderly recluse Howard Hughes as he used to watch her every morning and evening as she took the shortcut to school across his croquet lawn (pursued by Zeus and Apollo his faithful attack dogs).  Howard decide he liked the cut of her jib and had his minions (his job title for them) track her down to get her to sing jingles for his favourite cereal commercial,  Lucky Charms.  A young Victoria can be quite clearly heard pronouncing the immortal line "everyone is after.....my Lucky Charms" in a mock Irish accent  ...

One Christmas Howard in his usual insanely extravagant manner had a small monkey extensively surgically altered to look convincingly like a tiny version of Victoria, both as a gift to her but also as an amusing perspective joke (of which he was the acknowledged Master).  

Victoria is presently worshipped as the goddess Guccipradalama by 5 Million worshippers in Asia, we see below one of her temples.

This story was inspired by the photographs produced by Anika which she kindly sent to me to write a story to.


Writing a story that makes me laugh!

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  1. Haha! Nice story! Incredible photos to work with too.

  2. I love historical posts that really teach me something!


  3. So very creative! I can't believe the magnificent tale you came up with with such random images!! You've got a great imagination!!

  4. Ladies, thank you for your comments, it is always good to hear from you all.

    Anika, what is this random that you speak of? There is only one story that could for these pictures, it was like a silent movie!!! Ha, ha, ha..... Your photos were great and thanks for doing this with me.

  5. I'm still laughing! You are amazingly creative.

  6. Jamie, thank you so much, I had a lot of fun with it. You really do make me feel good and I thank you so much for that.

  7. Wow I never knew what humble beginnings Victoria came from, you don't happen to know where I can get one of those mirrors?

  8. Tracy, I think its from the film Ringu (not sure which of the 3 films), which is one of the scariest films I have ever seen. If you followed the logic of the film you could probably get one of the mirrors by renting the dvd and reaching into the screen and pulling one out. Unfortunately however......that would be a VERY BAD THING. Unless of course you drive a psychedelic paint job van, have a friends called Fred and Shaggy and have a huge dog whose barks sound like "rooby ruvs rooby racks". in which case after some running around, hiding in suits of armour etc, you'd have a nice new mirror but that nice Mr Smithers the friendly school janitor would be jailed for something or other ;-)